No Porn for Cuties

... The piano has been drinking My necktie's asleep The combo went back to New York, and left me all alone The jukebox has to take a leak Have you noticed that the carpet needs a haircut? And the spotlight looks just like a prison break And the telephone's out of cigarettes As usual the balcony's on the make And the piano has been drinking, heavily The piano has been drinking And he's on the hard stuff tonight The piano has been drinking And you can't find your waitress Even with the Geiger counter And I guarantee you that she will hate you From the bottom of her glass And all of your friends remind you That you just can't get served without her The piano has been drinking The piano has been drinking And the lightman's blind in one eye And he can't see out of the other And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid And he showed up with his mother And the piano has been drinking Without fear of contradiction I say The piano has been drinking Our Father who